The Old One and the Vampire
by babies-stole-my-dingo
Summary: A series of drabbles starring Spike and Illyria. Rated R for chapter ten; the others are tamer than that.
1. Pondering the HalfBreed

  
_Title:_ **Pondering the Half-Breed**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 186  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Spillyria's "Leather" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Illyria's musings about Spike. I'm usually a stickler for the 100-word limit, but since the challenge said anything between 100 and 200 words, I went wild. Sue me.

* * *

I wonder what Spike would do if his long animal skin covering were taken from him. He seems to wear it almost as protection at times, as a shield against the others. They don't quite trust in him, and he senses that. I can see that he finds it bothersome, although he hides it well. The internal politics of this group are beneath the notice of a god such as I, but I still find them interesting, for some reason.

We are alike, he and I. We are both outcast; they all expect us both to turn on them at any moment.

He does not respect me as he should, he is insolent, and yet I enjoy his company. He challenges me in ways that no one else would dare. He once said he would like to see me "without the leather catsuit," whatever that means.

I wish to spend more time with this white-haired half-breed. He intrigues me as none of the others do, and perhaps he can help me find my way in this odd new world where nothing is as it should be.


	2. A New Experience for an Old One

  
_Title:_ **A New Experience for an Old One**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Challenge100's #13 "Candy" challenge.

* * *

Spike watched Illyria as she prowled through the hallways of Wolfram and Hart, trailing her into the lab, again. She picked up another petri dish, but he snatched it away from her before she could eat it. "Here, Blue," he said. "Let's get you something a bit better to put in your mouth than that." She tilted her head in that birdlike way she had, and followed him to the break room.

A few minutes later, her expression turned from one of curiosity to one of delighted astonishment. "This thing you call 'chocolate' is pleasing to me. Is there more?"


	3. Finding Empathy

  
_Title:_ **Finding Empathy**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Spillyria's "Orange" challenge

* * *

"I do not understand why this entertainment fascinates you so."

"Well, Bluebird, it's the story of an unlikely hero fighting impossible odds in a hopeless quest. Plus it's a gorgeous movie."

Illyria watched awhile longer. "Why does the Nigel character aid them? He is a predator. He should eat them."

"It's because the father is so nervy. Nigel's been inspired by the tale, see, so he wants to help."

She considered this, tilting her head. "But he gets no benefit. I still do not understand."

Spike just grinned. It figured that "Finding Nemo" would be incomprehensible to an Old One.

* * *

_Notes:_ I know, it's a bit silly, but Spike is a pop culture junkie, right? And for a challenge like "Orange," it's all I could come up with. For those unfamiliar with the movie, Nigel is a Brown Pelican who befriends Nemo in the fishtank, and helps Nemo's dad, late in the movie. 


	4. Wisdom

  
_Title:_ **Wisdom**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Angel100's "Sometimes what's broken cannot be mended" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Spike and Illyria have a conversation after Angel 5:20 "The Girl in Question." Spoilers for that episode.

* * *

"I do not understand why it disturbed Wesley so when I assumed the Burkle persona. I would have thought that he would enjoy her company." 

"Well, pet, that's the thing. You're _not_ her; you killed her. I know you didn't mean to, really, but when you did, it broke something inside him. Sometimes what's broken can't be mended. You can try, but there'll always be the seamy bits where the glue didn't quite fill in the gaps."

Illyria tilted her head. "You are wise beyond what the others know."

Spike gave her a little grin. "Don't tell them, okay?"


	5. Halloween

  
_Title:_ **Halloween**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ Three challenges: LJ Community Spillyria's "Wow" challenge; LJ Community Wordoftheday100's "Mendicant" challenge; and a reviewer's challenge to use the word "serendipity" in a Halloween drabble. Cross-posted everywhere.  
_Notes:_ Okay, the timeline is all screwed up, but can't you see Illyria puzzling over Halloween?

* * *

"Wow, awesome mask!" a Dracula-wannabe said. It was Halloween, and Spike had answered the door in full vamp-face, distributing candy to the impressed youngsters.

Spike bared his fangs. "Who says it's a mask?" He growled and lunged. Giggles and screams filled the air as the kids fled to the elevator.

"What a strange ritual," Illyria commented. "I find it odd that elders send their spawn out begging like common mendicants."

"All in fun, Bluebird. It's pure serendipity that Lorne reminded me about today."

She filched a Snickers. "I would enjoy more chocolate."

"Take the wrapper off first, this time, pet."


	6. The Song of the Green

  
_Title:_ **The Song of the Green**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ A reviewer's request for "The Song of the Green."  
_Notes:_ In "Origin," Spike said that Illyria could "possibly talk to plants," then in "The Girl in Question," after the events in "Timebomb," she said she could "no longer hear the song of the green." Aeneas said it would be neat to do it from the plant's viewpoint, so....

* * *

I miss the Blue One. We would commune together, singing lovely duets. The ficus tree said that the Scruffy Man zapped her. After he did that, I sang, but she couldn't hear. She seemed sad about it, angry and lost. Even more so after the Scruffy Man stopped interacting with her after she became the Scrawny Female again.

The White-Furred Vampire has taken an interest in her. He almost seems to understand, as much as any creature can understand One so old. The world has changed so since she was last here. I hope he can help her find herself.


	7. Ice Cream Headache

  
_Title:_ **Ice Cream Headache**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Ice Cream" challenge.

* * *

"You silly bint, what are you eating now?"

"Do not question me, half-breed. In my day, I would have pulled your intestines out through your ears for your insolence."

"That may be, Highness, but your day's past. Try this instead." Spike handed her a carton of Neapolitan ice cream from his freezer.

She took a small bite, and she smiled with pleasure. Her next spoonful was huge, and the headache immediately hit her right between the eyes. "This substance...is delicious, but its effects are deleterious. What an exquisite pain."

"Just like you, pet." He grinned. "But don't ever change."


	8. Too Late

  
_Title:_ **Too Late**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG-13  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community TV100's "We're too late" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Another in my Spike & Illyria series. To my reviewers: You guys totally rock! Thanks for joining me on this ride!

* * *

"Bloody hell, we're too late." Spike scowled around at the carnage.

"This upsets you." Illyria tilted her head. "Why?"

"I hate when the hopeless get eaten before we can help them."

"You wish to do violence. This I understand. The thirst for vengeance was strong among my kind. Thousands died before our blades before that thirst was quenched."

"I'll settle for three vampires."

"Let us go. I will kill your half-breeds, and you will write it down on your clipboard."

"Hey! You don't get to have _all_ the fun."

"Very well. You may kill one of them," she conceded.


	9. Envy

  
_Title:_ **Envy**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Spillyria's "Envy" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Wesley's POV, as the outsider looking in...and still feeling pain over Fred.

* * *

I contemplate Spike and Illyria as they spar verbally and physically in the training room. Their snarky camaraderie, in contrast to my discomfort around her, grates on me. Spike's willingness to study Illyria without prejudice puts my teeth on edge and rubs my nerves raw.

But I envy the vampire's ability to take life as it comes. He has something with Illyria that I'll never have, because I can't forget what she was. He realizes Fred's gone and there's nothing anyone can do about it...so he moves on.

I think I'm just a bit bitter that he can do that.


	10. Interesting Noises

  
_Title:_ **Interesting Noises**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ R for nekkidness  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Dialogue Only" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Heh. _You_ figure it out.

* * *

"You make interesting noises."

"Do I, pet?"

"Yes. I wish you to make them again."

"How about you make that noise this time?"

"Oh...That is...acceptable."

"You like that?"

"Very...much."

"How about this?"

"These sensations are pleasant. Do not stop. Oh...yes. Right...there."

"What are you two doing?"

"Nothing that concerns you, Peaches."

"But you're...and she's..."

"What? You've never seen co-ed naked chiropractery before?"

"You're making that up."

"I might be. So?"

"Whatever, Spike. Do that someplace else, okay? Not in the training room. This door doesn't even lock."

"Let's go, Bluebird. We've offended Captain Forehead's delicate sensibilities."


	11. We Belong to the Night

  
_Title:_ **We Belong to the Night**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Spillyria's "Night" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Illyria observes Spike as they hunt through the amusement park in 5:21 "Power Play."

* * *

He moves through the night with feline grace, his coat billowing behind him. His energy barely contained, he hunts this place of amusement like a panther in search of prey. The night is his element; he belongs to it, and it belongs to him, in a way that the day never will. Even were he to attain the Shanshu, I do not believe that the day would welcome him as the night does. Night is home to him. 

We are alike that way. Perhaps this world will be home to me, someday, as well. And perhaps he can guide me.


	12. A Night of Culture

  
_Title:_ **A Night of Culture**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG, because Illyria has violent thoughts  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Spillyria's "Dance" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Angel makes Spike widen Illryia's horizons.

* * *

"You want me to take her _where_?" Spike asked incredulously.

Angel handed him the tickets. "Go see our in-house tailor. Neither of you has suitable clothes for this."

At least they had decent seats, Spike thought that night. She appeared fascinated by the performers on the stage. At intermission, he said, "Enjoyin' yourself, Bluebird?"

"They are so slender. I could shatter their spines with a snap of my fingers, but they are also strong. Their grace is pleasing to my eye."

Spike hated admitting it, but Angel was right. Bringing Illyria to the ballet had been a good idea.


	13. Old Ones Shouldn't Dance

  
_Title:_ **Old Ones Shouldn't Dance**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 155  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. sob  
_Notes:_ Inspired by LJ Community Spillyria's "Dance" challenge. Since I already did an exactly- 100-word drabble for that, I decided to let the Muse go a little crazy. No sense putting her in a box if I don't have to.

* * *

"Why have you brought me to this place?"

Spike ticked the reasons off on his fingers. "I'm feelin' a bit peckish, I'd like a beer, and the music is halfway decent."

Illyria tilted her head in her characteristic way. "Is that what that noise is called? 'Music'?"

Spike grinned and led her inside. "Not by everyone, I suppose."

She eyed the people on the dance floor while Spike ordered some hot wings and beer. "They behave strangely."

"They're having fun. You should try it sometime."

Without further ado, she walked among the dancers and began imitating the movements they were making. Sixty seconds later, Spike had her by the arm and was hustling her out the door over her protests. "I do not understand. You told me..."

"Yeah, well, next time I tell you something like that, you can bloody well ignore me, Blue. I'll never be able to show my face in there again."


	14. Hands of a Goddess

  
_Title:_ **Hands of a Goddess**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine, they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Spillyria's "Hands/Fingers" challenge

* * *

Her hands were a puzzle, Spike reflected. Hard as granite when she hit him, they were soft as thistledown when she wanted them to be. Running her fingers over his cheekbones, she scrutinized his face. "Bring forth your demon," she demanded, and he gave her new vistas to explore. She sat back, looking at him critically. "Your human visage is the more pleasing. I wish you to wear that one when we are together."

"As you wish, Highness." Spike's tone was light and mocking, as always...but he meant it. It wouldn't do to let _her_ know that, however.


	15. Let It Snow

  
_Title:_ **Let It Snow**   
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG-13  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Not mine; they're Whedon's. _sob_  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Spillyria's "Snow" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Snow? /snerk/ There's no snow in LA. So, I went in a slightly...different direction.

* * *

Illyria strode out of the ladies' room and practically ran Spike over. "Whoa, Bluebird! What's your rush?" He looked at her a little more closely. "What the hell is that under your nose?" 

"The woman called it..." She cocked her head. "Snow." Backing him up against the wall, she traced the scar over his eyebrow with one finger and ran her tongue over her lips. "You are very handsome for a half-breed. I wish to copulate with you."

Fifteen minutes later, a disheveled Spike burst into Angel's office. "Maybe you need to start testing your employees for drugs, not just evil."


	16. A Kind Word

  
_Title:_ **A Kind Word**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community TV100's "A Kind Word" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Another in my Spike/Illyria series.

* * *

"What's the matter, Bluebird? Someone repot your favorite fern?" Spike asked.

Illyria regarded him sourly. "Wesley referred to me as an 'abominable azure aberration.' My presence, he said, is unnatural and unhealthy and not to be borne."

"Get your feelings hurt, then?"

"I have no regard for the drunken ramblings of an insect such as he."

Her expression told him otherwise. He winked, stepped close to her, and whispered in her ear. "Well, luv, I think you're a splendid sapphire stunner, myself."

Her eyes followed him as he walked away. Yes. She definitely wanted to keep Spike as her pet.


	17. New Pet

  
_Title:_ **New Pet**  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Words:_ 219  
_Disclaimer:_ Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower.  
_Written for:_ More "inspired by," really: the "furry" challenge at LJ Community Spillyria.  
_Notes:_ This was supposed to be a drabble, but who am I to argue when the Muse takes an idea and runs with it?

* * *

_Hungry. Cold. Scared. Tired._

Illyria looked up from dismembering the demon. "Half-breed. What is that?"

"What's what, Blue?" Spike asked.

"You do not hear that?" She stalked through the alley, hunting for the small voice that had dared to invade her consciousness. Her hand darted down and snatched up a tiny, shivering bundle of fur that, nevertheless, struggled feebly, hissing and spitting. "What is this creature?"

Spike's lips twitched. "It's a kitten."

"I could destroy it with a snap of my fingers, and yet it fights." She held it in front of her face, and a claw caught her across the nose, drawing blood. "It is helpless, and yet it has spirit."

"We help the helpless, luv. Want to take it home?"

Her eyes glittered. "I would enjoy that." She tucked the little cat under her arm, where it snuggled into the crook of her elbow.

_Warm. Nice. Sleepy._

The purring startled her momentarily, but she soon determined that the noise portended no harm. They stopped at a grocery store for supplies. Back at the apartment, Spike sprawled, grinning, in his armchair, watching her watch the kitten play with a woolly mouse. And he reflected that giving her something new to be interested in might at least grant him a momentary break from being pummeled on a daily basis.


	18. Dirge of the Green

  
_Title:_ **The Dirge of the Green**  
_Author:_ babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ G  
_Words:_ 100  
_Disclaimer:_ Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Spillyria's "Plants" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Takes place before "Time Bomb," when Illyria can still hear "the song of the green."

* * *

Illyria was peripherally aware of Spike following her, scribbling on his clipboard. He was beneath her notice, but a fern in the lobby abruptly grabbed her attention. Cocking her head, she stared at it while it sang.

"What is it, luv?" Spike asked over her shoulder.

"It is dying," she whispered. "Why does no one minister to it?"

"It's just a plant..."

She rounded on him. "There is not so much life in your dimension that it can be wasted."

He took a startled step backwards. "Right. I'll get someone to take a look at it."

"See that you do."


	19. Games

  
_Title:_ **Games**  
_Author:_ babies stole my dingo agilebrit)  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG-13  
_Length:_ Drabble (100 words)  
_Disclaimer:_ Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Playing" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Spike and Illyria...play.

* * *

"You've gotten quite good at this, pet," Spike said admiringly. "Oh, yes, that's it!" 

"You enjoyed that?" Illyria asked.

"Very much. You take my breath away, and since I don't breathe, that's saying quite a bit."

"I have had much practice, and you are an excellent teacher."

"Oh, wait, wait...Now! Yes!"

"Then my progress is pleasing to you." Smiling, she moved her fingers faster.

He gasped. "Right there! You're better at it than I am. Reflexes of a god? And you're a natural. Absolutely amazing."

She put the game controller down. " Then you must buy 'Crash Nitro Kart' soon."

* * *

_innocent look_ What? You thought they were doing something else? 


	20. Tacos

  
_Title:_ **Tacos**  
_Author:_ babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG  
_Length:_ Drabble (100 words)  
_Disclaimer:_ Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Food/Eating" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Spike and Illyria discuss tacos. Had to strip it down to all dialogue. Heh.

* * *

"Half-breed."

"Yeah, Bluebird?"

"I want you to cook tacos."

"Really? What brought this on?"

"This shell liked tacos. I wish to taste them for myself."

"It's two in the bloody morning."

"Your puny obstacles mean nothing. Cook tacos for me."

"Vampire, here. I don't cook. Least of all tacos. I wouldn't know where to start."

"Wesley would begin on the internet."

"Then maybe you should call Wesley."

"Asking Wesley for tacos would be hurtful to him and inappropriate."

"Whereas asking a British vampire to cook Mexican food is entirely acceptable. _Fine_. Not making any promises, but I'll do my best."


	21. The Scent of Her Hair

  
_Title:_ **The Scent of Her Hair**  
_Author:_ babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
_Fandom:_ Angel  
_Rating:_ PG-13 for naughty thoughts  
_Length:_ Drabble (100 words)  
_Disclaimer:_ Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
_Written for:_ LJ Community Open On Sunday's "Hair" challenge.  
_Notes:_ Spike thinks about the women in his life... And, yeah, I know, there's a fanon bunny in there.

* * *

He'd loved Dru's hair. Soft, silky, smelling of blood and cinnamon--elaborately coiffed for a party or spread out on a pillow as he made love to her, her dark brown tresses were her signature, running his fingers through them his chief delight.

And Buffy...the honey locks of the Slayer held the fragrance of vamp dust and vanilla. The style changed over time, but not the scent. Even now, a whiff of vanilla candles took him back to the dances they shared.

Now Illyria. She smelled indescribable, like nothing he'd ever known. And that was most intoxicating of all.


	22. Bending to Circumstance

**Title:** Bending to Circumstance  
**Author: **babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
**Fandom: **Angel  
**Rating:** PG  
**Length:** Drabble (100 words)  
**Disclaimer: **Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me. One line of dialogue cribbed directly from Angel 5:21 "Power Play," written by David Fury.  
**Written for:** LJ Community WordoftheDay100's "aloof" challenge.  
**Notes:** Illyria ponders her lot in life.

* * *

She was trapped in this foul dimension. Her powers had faded to near nonexistence, her worshipers were dead and gone, and her armies turned to dust centuries ago. Human vermin, once barely noticeable ants to be ground underfoot, held sway, and Angel and his minions were unimpressed by her grandeur. Worse, she could not force them to venerate her as they should. Wesley, in fact, had ceased all contact, and the others--save one--barely tolerated her presence.

Holding herself aloof from them had simply made them more resistant to her needs. Perhaps...

"Hey. Wanna go find something to hit?"


	23. Testing Responses

**Title:** Testing Responses  
**Author: **babies stole my dingo (agilebrit)  
**Fandom: **Angel  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Length:** Drabble (100 words)  
**Disclaimer: **Joss is the genius behind these characters; I am but a lowly follower. I make no money from any of this, so please don't sue me.  
**Written for:** LJ Community Open On Sunday's "missing scenes" challenge.  
**Notes:** Takes place during 5:19 "Origin."

* * *

"I'd love to see you without the leather catsuit, pet." Spike smirked, and Illyria could tell he did not believe she would remove it.

His clipboard clattered to the floor when her covering disappeared, leaving her naked before him. "Is this a part of your study?" she asked, tilting her head.

He coughed a little. "Yeah, sure. Need to, um, test some responses..."

"And I will test yours as well." The muffled noises he made, she decided, were satisfactory.

Harmony found her a little while later, wandering around Human Resources. "Aren't you supposed to be with Spike?" Harmony asked.

"Spike is...resting." 


End file.
